One Bread



All American Freedom cookies (or “cookies” — closer inspection reveals they’re actually graham crackers, which ain’t cookies in my book, no way, no how). Not to be confused with American Spirit cigarettes or Freedom of Choice maxithins.   

My first thought upon looking at the packaging, early this morning before my first cup of coffee, was, “Do kids still march around with the American flag like that?” Maybe — but only in the Wii All American Freedom Cookie game from Nintendo.

A subsequent thought was prompted by inspection of the back of the package, where I read, “Provides one bread for NSLP.” In other words, this counts as a serving of bread in the National School Lunch Program. Odd phrasing: “Ms. Lunch Lady, may I please have one bread?” I don’t think so.

What is “one bread”? I turn to an under-appreciated work of modern American literature, “Subchapter A–Child Nutrition Programs: Part 210–National School Lunch Program,” a 65-page PDF document. Still haven’t found the chapter on bread.

8 Replies to “One Bread”

  1. I seek the help from The Elite Laminated Conversion Table Community: Grape Nehi + Cheetos = How many breads? Anyway, back to 1 above in 606. That’s all for now. Must protect my legacy.

  2. PS: And ENOUGH of this “content of character” talk. Judge a person by the breadiness of his (sorry, broads) graham cracker!

  3. I have a freedom cookie wrapper right here in front of me. The tiny print at the bottom of the “Nutrition Facts” box clarifies “one bread:” “In the above serving there is 16 grams of enriched wheat and whole wheat flour. This is equal to or greater than 1 bread serving.” More interesting grammar, but I guess 16 grams of enriched wheat flour = 1 bread. Let the conversion calculations begin!

  4. OK — I’m always game for a calculation. Sixteen grams is slightly more than a half an ounce (.564383 of an ounce, to be more precise). For the purpose of this exercise, we’ll assume that’s volume measure rather than weight.
    So: that half ounce is roughly equivalent to one and a half tablespoons. How much is that in the context of a loaf of bread? I’ll spare you the arithmetic, but I think you’d bee looking at half a slice of bread as the NSLP “one bread” portion. Doesn’t seem like a lot.

Comments are closed.

Discover more from Infospigot: The Chronicles

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading