Welcome to a probable one-time installment of a weekly Infospigot feature, the Friday Notebook. It is Friday, right?
Actual quote heard in my household: “Do you even want to reckon with my muscular ass?” The context was G-rated, but still, to protect the innocent I’d rather not identify the speaker.
He’s your what? “Barry’s our figurehead. He’s our man.” Giant’s pitcher Matt Herges talking about Barry Bonds’s impact on San Francisco’s National League nine. On the misdemeanor level, the figurehead, the carved figure at the prow of old-time ships, was usually (but not always) a woman. On a felony level, a figurehead is exactly the opposite of what Mr. Herges proposes. Quoting a work with the word Webster’s in the title: “a person put in a position of leadership because of name, rank, etc., but having no real power, authority, or responsibility.” The living example in baseball is Bud Selig, the man who couldn’t figure out how to untie a game.
That’s enough snottiness for now.