Today’s Top Scam

We have some dining chairs we'd like to sell. After the usual months of procrastination, I took pictures and posted them on Craigslist, where I've always had pretty good luck unloading things quickly. I think if I really wanted to sell these in a hurry, I'd post them on a Friday or early Saturday, when I think people are in garage-sale mode. But add Factor P (for procrastination again) and it was Sunday afternoon before they were actually online. I got one email soon afterward, from "Kelly Walker," who asked whether the chairs were still available. Yes, "Kelly," they are, I responded. I didn't check my email again until this morning. I had another note from "Kelly":

Hello,

I appreciate your response to my inquiry.I am interested in buying the items and i am ok with their description and conditions and i am also satisfied with their price($150).I would have love to come and check it myself but am not chance now,because I just got married and am presently on honeymoon trip to Honolulu in Hawaii with my wife and I would love a surprise change of furniture in our home on our return because my wife like surprises. Please do withdraw the advert from the website with immediate effect,as i don't mind adding $50 for you to do that for me,so i can be rest assured that the items are held for me,I will be making the payment to you via a Certified Check in us dollars which my secretary in united state will mail across to you and as for the pick up,i will know how to handle that with my mover that has been helping me to move in new furnitures into our home. My Mover will come for the pick up once the Certified Check has been cashed and i will like to complete this transaction before Wednesday the 22nd of July.If this arrangement is ok by you kindly send me both your name and full address to post the payment immediately and i would appreciate you include your phone#,i.e….

(1)..Your full name
(2)..Your full home address or your office address
(3)..your zip code
(4)…your phone number to contact you

And please i don't want a P.O BOX address because i want the payment to get to you at your house or your office address to make the transaction fast.Thanks and get back to me with the full info as soon as possible.Thanks

"Kelly," who wrote me from kellywalker100@gmail.com, sounds like quite a guy. So thoughtful and generous. He's on his honeymoon in Hawaii, and he stops to shop Craigslist just to find some new furniture to surprise his wife! Such solicitude, too. He'll pay 50 bucks just to get me to hold the chairs for his "mover." And he wants to make sure I get his bunko check without delay. Really the only less-than-glowing thing I can say about him is his English needs a little polishing.

I was tempted to write back: "Dear Kelly: The sale terms are cash only. For scammers, the cash price is double, plus a $500 handling charge. You're responsible for your own attorney's and bail fees upon your arrest and trial for grand theft." When I did write back, though, I stopped at "cash only."

Like everyone else, I've seen multitudes of online scams. Craigslist is apparently rife with them. I'm not sure anyone has ever approached me directly and individually this way before. It's disturbing and offensive, especially when you consider that "Kelly" and his like do manage to sucker the unsuspecting.

Curbing My Enthusiasm

Since an early age I have had an inflated opinion of my athletic abilities. It took me until sixth grade to realize that even my friends picked me last for their teams in gym. In three years of summer softball my batting reputation was so renowned that when the outfielders saw me step up to the plate, they slowly moved toward the infield. No one plays tennis with me more than once, unless he likes me a lot or likes to run a lot, or both. What I lack in skill I make up for in an unbounded enthusiasm and a willingness to try.

 I was never fast on the bike but as a kid I could make running mounts and dismounts. Ride hands-free. Slow down to catch a branch of the plumb tree and let the bike roll out from under me. By the time I was twelve my twin brothers had left home and left their bikes behind, so I had my pick of two generic 10-speeds to tool around town in. Even with the seat all the way down my feet barely reached the pedals, so upon coming to a stop I had to be careful to lower one foot at a time to the ground and   daintily maneuver around the top tube or risk losing my innocence to Montgomery Ward.

 Pedaling around San Francisco I admire and am inspired by so many cyclists, every day: Captain Fixie, with your measured cadence and balletic stance at red lights; Ms. Racer, keeping pace with the streetcars; Messenger Maniac, bag bulging, basket brimming, legs of steel spinning—I think I love you. In my mind I take you all on, I mop Market Street with your Lycra and Vans and still we laugh, we hit it off, we hang out, become fast friends…

 But you, Commuter Guy on the hybrid, you did me in.

 Wheeling west on Market, approaching Kearney, a bus was a little too close to the curb for us to pass, but you did not stop when I stopped, or even slow down, you hopped up onto the edge of the sidewalk and rode around. Wow, thought I. I wanted to follow you, considered hiking my bike up off the asphalt and getting on out of there. But the light changed and we all rolled. You were gone, but I remembered you.

 My destination was at the corner of Sixth and around the mid-point of the block there is a cutout where delivery vans park. That spot was empty this day, and the suggestion being so fresh in my mind, I knew what I wanted to do. "I'm on a cyclocross," I said aloud. "Why not?"

 Traffic was light and I crossed to the left, headed for the curb—which is lower on this block than the one I saw jumped just moments before. "Yeah, this will be great." I did not say this out loud, but I did believe it.

 A friend to whom I described my experience put it quite well when I reached this point in the story: "Don't you have to pop a wheelie to do that?" Indeed you do; and I did not. Nor did I brake. Or turn away when I still had the chance. What was going through my head as the decisive moment approached was, "Wait…what do I…" at which point my front wheel hit the curb, the bike stopped, and I kept going, though somehow I pushed back on the handlebars in time and with enough force to keep myself from flying over them. I was able to avoid falling completely and face-planting in the grime and filth of the pavement, but it all went awry too quickly for me to remember what was automatic so many years ago—to mind the cross tube—and thus I got to know my unders in a brand new way.

 As I unstraddled and righted the bike, I smiled and gave a little chuckle to let any potential Good Samaritan know I was OK. Maybe I thought a happy face would make me look less like an idiot. Perhaps I was remembering a bit of advice someone once gave me: "Laugh at yourself before anyone else has a chance to laugh at you."

 I would like to thank the good people of Mid-Market not only for not laughing at me but for actually ignoring me in my most awkward situation. I know your miseries are far greater than mine and you would have had many good reasons to delight in my spectacle, so I very much appreciated your blank stares and vacant gazes while I gathered what bits of my composure had not toppled to the sidewalk and proceeded to my meeting, walking a little funny but with my head held high, thinking, "Next time…"

Tour de France Stage 14: Idiot non Savant

The delightful aspect of today’s stage: George Hincapie, in his fourteenth Tour, coming within a whisker of taking the yellow jersey. If you weren’t keeping score at home: At the end, the peloton brought back Hincapie’s breakaway just enough to deny him the maillot jaune (or MJ, as I’m seeing it tweeted). A slightly less delightful aspect of the stage: the post-finish recriminations about what various teams should have done, or shouldn’t have, to allow Hincapie, one of the class acts in pro cycling, to keep the prize. Some accuse Astana and the Armstrong/Bruyneel brain trust of setting a pace at mid-stage designed to keep HIncapie within reach. Some accuse Garmin-Slipstream of chasing aggressively late in the stage, providing the peloton with the impetus that allowed Rinaldo Nocentini (Ag2R) to keep the yellow jersey.

To which we say: Please. It’s a race. A wise man–or a man at any rate–once said, “No gifts.” If there’s one guy in the entire peloton who understands what that means, it’s Hincapie himself.

And, if there’s one man who doesn’t understand that, it’s Phil Liggett. When Versus joined the stage live, with a little more than 100 kilometers to go, The Bebington Blatherer first noted the surprise of the day: that Hincapie was close to being the race leader on the road. Then he noted with shock and clucking disapproval that Hincapie’s old friend, Lance Armstrong, had ordered Astana to bring back the breakaway. He said this not once, but twice. He ignored the fact the time gap was hardly changing. He ignored the absence of any sign that Astana was putting out an effort. He ignored the time gap as it began to grow, a sure sign that no chase was under way. He ignored the fact that Johan Bruyneel, not Armstrong, would be the one to order any move. And he ignored the fact that just about any apparent move in the peloton 100 kilometers from the finish was not likely to have much significance.

To give Phil his due, though: with a nudge from Paul Sherwen, he did change his tune when the gap grew to seven minutes, then eight. Soon, he started waxing poetic about what life would be like when Hincapie had the yellow jersey. Teammate Mark Cavendish would be appreciative, Phil predicted: “George Hincapie is usually Mark’s roommate in the hotels, and George looks after Mark, it’s like a dad looking after his son. And he’ll be only too happy if he’s looking at a yellow jersey at the end of the bed of his mate, George Hincapie, tonight. It will be a very successful and a very nice feeling.”

Oh, Phil. Goofy. Prolix. Tireless. Not often with it. How can we not love you? How can we not be exasperated?

About re: Cycling

re: Cycling

About two-wheelers, the people who ride them, the places they live. And other stuff, too. We’re working it out.

Team Personnel

Dan Brekke
Editor/directeur sportif
News editor in print, broadcast, and Web; occasional ultramarathon cyclist (randonneur style: PBP finisher 2003, non-finisher 2007); racing fan, but not a racer; long-time blogger and new-media enthusiast. What else? Lives in Berkeley, California, has owned four Bridgestone RB-1s, and still uses one as his main ride.

judy b.
Contributing editor
San Francisco literary artist and everyday cyclist judy b. does her best to be a Buddha on a bicycle: joyful, balanced, and kind. You can find her riding in the bike lanes and around the hills of San Francisco and on the Web at http://onzeproductions.com.

Pete Danko
Contributing editor
Triathlete, marathoner, former mountain bike racer. Raised in San Jose, now pounds the roads in Portland, Oregon.

Tour de France: Sherwen on the Bonk

Paul Sherwen, narrating video of Quick Step’s Sylvain Chavanel struggling on the last climb of Stage 13:

“Well, this is very much a situation, Phil, where you go, bridge to engine room–more power! But there is no power for Sylvain Chavanel this afternoon. This is the kind of thing that can happen on a nasty day through the mountains, especially when the bad weather comes down, you don’t feed properly, you don’t keep yourself topped up with energy, and it’s a question of boom-boom, and out go the lights.”

Tour de France: The Bad News, via Twitter

titaniumscrew.jpg

[7:30 a.m.: The update to Levi Leipheimer’s broken wrist: He’s having surgery. And he’s reporting on it–both tweeting and posting pictures: See @LeviLeipheimer at Twitter and levileipheimer’s images at Yfrog. The image above is captioned, “This is 22mm Titanium screw!” So the new model of an event-ending injury is get hurt, get diagnosis, get treatment, and show the whole world the process. Video with expert commentary can’t be far behind.]

Earlier post: A little after the sun comes up on the West Coast in about five hours, just about anyone who cares will know the bad news from the Tour de France: Levi Leipheimer is out of the race with a broken wrist. It’s a potentially race-changing injury: Leipheimer figured to be a key to the victory chances for his team’s co-non-leaders, Lance Armstrong and Alberto Contador. And if one of them faltered, he has developed into the kind of tough competitor who might have a shot at the overall Tour victory himself.

It’s interesting how the bad news broke. At 12:25 a.m. PDT, or 9:25 a.m. in France, Lance Armstrong sent out a Twitter message: “Woke up to bad news. Levi is out with a broken wrist. Damn..”

At 12:28 a.m. PDT, Astana team director Johan Bruyneel sent out his own message: “Starting the day with bad news… Levi has a fracture of the scaphoid (wrist). Not good!”

And at 12:33 a.m. came word from Leipheimer himself: “My wrist is broken. I can’t describe how disapointed I am.”

Anyone who’s following race news this way knows the basics of the story now. Meantime, a full half hour after Armstrong broke the story–and that sheds some light on what Twitter does to news–even the rapidly updated Google News is behind. They have a full palette of stories describing Leipheimer’s crash yesterday just before the finish, and a display quote in which he talks about escaping serious injury:  “My wrist hurts, but surprisingly it’s OK. It could have been a lot worse,” … “I was a bit surprised by a left corner …… my tire was sliding and I couldn’t quite save my bike from sliding out”

Tour de France Stage 13: Back to the Mountains

Looking forward to today's non-Pyrenees, non-Alps mountain stage. Partly because we're sending a reporter to a cafe in San Francisco where some local riders watch the Tour, and I'm hoping we get a nice radio story out of it. But mostly because the climbs on the stage, which includes one Category 1 pass, the Col du Platzerwasel, have the potential to touch off some fireworks. Here's the course profile, from the Tour site:

stage13profile.jpg

Here are some more detailed look at some of the passes on the route:

The Vosges region.

Col de Platzerwasel (look at the place names as the stage heads east; we're in Alsace); and also here.

And last, here's what one rider had to say about the stage (yesterday, from Agence France-Presse):

Lance Armstrong has warned the 13th stage of the Tour de France Friday could be a source of trouble when the riders tackle the 8.7km-long Col du Platzerwasel’s monster climb.

On paper, the 200km hilly ride from Vittel to Colmar looks easy compared to some of the mammoth climbs during a three-day spell in the Alps which starts Sunday.

But Armstrong says the Platzerwasel, whose summit is 62km from the finish, will sort the men from the boys.

“The climb up Col du Platzerwasel will be difficult, it is a long way and it will be a real stage,” said Armstrong.

Tour de France: Chateau of a Doubt

We’re already more than halfway through the Tour, and we’ve refrained thus far from the familiar and pleasurable pastime of hurling brickbats at Phil Liggett. Yes, the Liggetisms are still filling the airwaves. But maybe from a temporary lapse in mean spiritedness, we’ve been cutting the Bebington Blatherer some slack (yes, he’s from a town called Bebington on the Wirral, near Liverpool).

And actually, the truce will remain in effect, because Phil and his somewhat less objectionable sidekick, Paul “The Widnes Whippet” Sherwen, aren’t really the targets of the whine we’re about to uncork. No, it’s their producers, the off-screen folks who shape the Tour telecasts, we want to address. So:

Dear To Whom It May Concern:

Enough with the chateaux already. Yes, we know France is an old and beautiful country with lots of eye-catching architecture. We remember that from last year’s Tour, and the one before that, and the one before that. Previous to the advent of Tour broadcasts in the States, we recall these history-text facts about France and the French: They helped us defeat the British. They had a revolution. They cut off heads, lots of heads. Wine. Statue of Liberty. Dreyfus. World War I. Maginot Line. De Gaulle. Indochina. Freedom fries.

Here’s the thing about having Phil and Paul reading their note cards about the Duc d’ Old Spice and the Comtesse Haagen-Dazs and the beautiful homes they built and maintained on the brute labor of their Renault-driving serfs: It ain’t informative, and it equally ain’t entertainment. So what’s it doing on your air? The droning of dates and names and who changed his socks and knickers where in 1576–that’s exactly the impoverished approach to history that repels 98 percent of those forced to endure it in classrooms.

Yes, Phil and Paul have to say something when the French whirlybird is circling Le Chateau de Fromage Grande and that’s the picture the folks at home are seeing. It would actually be refreshing to hear them just say what they’re actually thinking instead of the rote “facts” about the place: “Can you believe the size of that place?” “Says here it was built by the Vicomte le Ouizze in 1692. When do you think they got indoor plumbing?”

Very truly yours &c. &c.

That’s it. A modest plea to liberate us from the tyranny of the present’s dull grasp of the past. Besides that, after hearing Phil and Paul’s attempts to describe where they were in the Golden State during past Tours of California, I always wonder whether what they’re telling us bears any relation to what we’re seeing.

(A down-the-street informant tells us that the grand country houses and alleged cultural commentary are also a fixture on French TV. Our Informant (OI) says: “BTW, TV5Monde also does chateaux commentary, and they spend a lot more time on the chateaux, even do split screen with ongoing race action. So there’s a need to fill — a twitter feed with good sidelight details.” She also tells us we’re all wet on our distaste for the dry historical TV tidbittery: ” I like the extra pix and commentary of the chateaux, churches, and field art; it connects the event to a time and place. Sometimes it’s interesting, always good trivia. One of the things I missed during the Giro was any look at the countryside, and any informed commentary.”)

Supreme Court Rope-a-Dope

I have to say, I’m enjoying not listening to the Sandra Sotomayor confirmation hearings. I suppose that’s a conundrum: How could I possibly know that not doing something is a feel-good experience? Well, the answer to that puzzler is that I have listened to short sections of the hearings. They’re unbearable. They’re the forensic equivalent of Muhammad Ali’s “rope-a-dope,” the tactic he improvised to tire out and eventually beat the bigger, stronger George Foreman in 1974.

Not to compare the hearings with that fight in any way. Ali’s method was brilliant and exciting. No one expected it, and it represented the supreme gamble that his wits and reflexes would allow him to survive long enough against the pure power of his opponent to eventually reset the odds in his favor.

What’s going on in Washington now bears no resemblance to that. The hearings are so predictable, so empty of substance, so free of risk. They have turned into a ritual in which the appointing president’s opponents windmill away at the nominees, desperate to score points even with the most trivial forays. The new court hopefuls, for their part, cover up, trying to avoid saying anything to any questioner that might give their foes advantage. Their audience learns they never prejudge anything. You wonder how they might answer a question about their favorite Ben & Jerry’s flavor or how they’d ever manage to select one while they’re shopping.

I liked this exchange yesterday between Sotomayor and Arlen Specter, Pennylvania’s new Democratic senator. Specter wanted to know what the nominee thinks about the Supreme Court taking on more cases. Sotomayor didn’t want to say “until I’ve experienced the process.” (Here’s the transcript.)

You can imagine what happened when Specter turned to the topic of the Bush administration’s Terrorist Surveillance Program and the court’s declining to hear an appeal on the program’s constitutionality. Specter reminded Sotomayor that he had written to her a number of times advising her he would ask her about this during the hearings. “I’m not asking you how you would decide the case,” he said, “but wouldn’t you agree that the Supreme Court should have taken that kind of a major conflict on separation of powers?”

Sotomayor wasn’t going to fall for a trap like that–offering an opinion on whether the issues in a case merited the court’s attention. Here she goes:

Sotomayor: I can understand not only Congress’s or your personal frustration, and sometimes the citizens when there are important issues that they would like the court to consider. The question becomes what do I do if you give me the honor to serve on the Court. If I say something today, is that going to make a statement about how I’m going to prejudge someone else’s…

Specter: I’m not asking you to prejudge. I’d like to know your standards for taking the case. If you have that kind of a monumental historic conflict and the court is supposed to decide conflicts between the executive and legislative branches, how can it possibly be justified not to take that case?

Sotomayor: There are often, from what I understand — and that’s from my review of Supreme Court actions and cases of situations in which they have or have not taken cases, and I’ve read some of their reasoning as to this. I know that with some important issues, they want to make sure that there isn’t a procedural bar to the case of some type that would take away from whether they’re, in fact, doing what they would want to do, which is to …

Specter: Well, was there a procedural bar? You’ve had weeks to mull that over, because I gave you notice.

Sotomayor: Senator, I’m sorry. I did mull this over. My problem is that, without looking at a particular issue and considering the cert briefs file, the discussion of potential colleagues as to the reasons why a particular issue should or should not be considered, the question about…

Specter: Well, I can tell you’re not going to answer. Let me move on.

The rope-a-dope routine at least shows Sotomayor knows how to survive. But to go back to the ring for a moment, the performance doesn’t call to mind the imagination and courage Ali used to conquer Foreman, but his tactics in another fight. A few years after the Foreman fight, an unprepared Ali lost his title to Leon Spinks. It was Spinks’s finest hour, and it was short-lived. He fought Ali again before the year was out, and this time Ali came with a game plan: to hit Spinks when he could, which was often enough, and hang onto him the rest of the fight. It was a tired, embarrassing display. But it worked, and Ali regained his crown, if only for a moment.

U.S. Trading Company

July 2009, on 16th Street near South Van Ness Avenue in San Francisco's Mission District.
July 2009, on 16th Street near South Van Ness Avenue in San Francisco’s Mission District.

On 16th Street near South Van Ness in San Francisco. Just a delivery truck. The products and the color of the graphics got my attention.