Top Reasons Not to Ride Your Bike

1. No more altercations with surly, clueless motorists.

2. Get to wear all those old, oversize jeans in your closet again.

3. Carry your spare tire with you everywhere, not just on the road.

4. No more inhaling nasty exhaust fumes–unless from the comfort of your own gas-guzzling car.

5. Fewer saddle sores and miscellaneous numbness issues.

6. Drive more, do your part to hasten end of Oil Era and onset of Clean, Green Age

7. Give strangers fewer reasons to ridicule the way you dress.

8. More couch time for aerobically challenging sports on TV.

9. More leisure to drink beer, set up empties in a “pace line.”

10. More time for hobbies like talking about the good old days when you did ride.