Al Trautwig’s back! The Outdoor Life Network launched its Tour de France coverage Saturday, and they’ve got the same gallery of syntax- and image-torturing rogues breathlessly covering every breathless mile. The ring leader: the mellifluous-voiced Trautwig, who has wasted no time unloading fresh gems from his 2005 Tour simile/metaphor/cliche trove. To wit:
During Saturday’s prologue: “It’s the tip of the needle in the haystack.”
During Sunday’s stage on Thor Hushovd, Norway’s favorite cycling son: “His body’s as wide as the country he represents. …” Of course Norway is a very long, very skinny country.
Did Pal Al spot a USA competitor comparable to the whippet from Norge? I picture him fat, though he thinks it’s muscle. Rude, careless, unapologetic….you know, focused and decisive. Weaving and accelerating forward, but only because he’s going downhill. And he probably has a silly tattoo. Anyway….Happy 4th everyone!